'Adult' education

I originally wrote this as a response to the media’s gushing over the death of a porn star a couple of years ago. Though her memory may have faded, the beast she fed survives…The post has been modified from its original form.

‘Adult entertainment.’ ‘Adult films.’ ‘Adult DVDs, movies, videos.’

If 'adult' is equated with 'mature', and 'mature' equates to 'old enough to know better,' or 'responsible and sensible', then what adult would want to watch such a film?

Many of you know that I am a 'recovering porn addict.' I know what damage I did to my soul and my marriage by exposing (pun intended) myself to these pieces of toxic waste. The demand is great for such product as this...far greater now than when the late Marilyn Chambers made her debut. (Yes, I did see her big film. Unfortunately.) The appetite for flesh on film has desensitized us to the point that our kids can watch what once would have been considered ‘soft-core’ on our TVs every evening. We can take a trip to any mall in any town in America and see young ladies wearing revealing clothing that would have made Grandma blush. Victoria has no secrets anymore; they’re all on public display.

All of this public skin feeds our appetite for more of the same. We’re not satisfied with the occasional bare shoulder as the camera fades to black. We want the full monty. And worse. After a while, even that’s not good enough to give us the ‘high’ we are accustomed to, so we pursue a more risky fix. Relationships, jobs, even our lives are put at risk in our pursuit of our next piece, be it real or virtual. And it seldom stops before irreparable harm has been done. I know this because I was there.

I was there for 25+ years. If you are into porn, I am not going to slam a Bible on your head and pronounce damnation on you, although I could show you passages which would seem to indicate God ain't too happy with it. I just want to tell you in no uncertain terms that this stuff is poison. Poisonous to your mind. Poisonous to your relationships, whether you are married or not. Poisonous to your view of the opposite sex (or even the same sex...been there, done that too.) It corrodes your ability to have and enjoy intimacy...not just physical intimacy, but emotional, conversational, relational intimacy. After viewing or reading it, every single time you attempt to engage in an intimate moment (with or without clothing), a little of your capacity to be intimate is eaten away. Eventually, you find yourself unable to become close to anyone without having a sexual thought or impulse pounce on you.

I poisoned my life and my marriage with this stuff. I gave my bride a taste of it, and she went and did exactly what I was doing. James hit the bullseye when he wrote (James 1:14-15) that we are dragged by our desires into sin, and sin gives birth to death.

This stuff is contagious. Kill it. Kill it now. Kill it before it kills you.

We can’t afford to stop there, though. Our friends, our children, our coworkers are caught in this trap as well. Some has speculated that 2/3 of all men either are currently feeding a porn / sex addiction or have had issues in the past with one. Look around you and count. Two out of every three guys you count have been caught up in this pernicious toxin. But no one wants to talk about it! Be the exception! Give your friend some cover, and stand with him. Find someone you can call when you feel that tingling, that burning to log on and check out. Accountability turns a bright light on this evil, and it runs away. Guys, they only sell this stuff because they know we buy it. If we reduce the demand for this toxin, market economics tell us the supply will shrink as well.

BIG recommendation if you're into books: 'The Dirty Little Secret' by Craig Gross, founder of xxxchurch.com . Take a look at the unairbrushed underbelly of porn, warts and all. If you aren't sick now, you will be when you finish.

Jesus said if we even lust, that's the same as actually engaging in adultery. Adulterers are listed in several lists of people that won't get into Heaven. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 is my favorite list:

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

I am batting 9 for 10 in that list. But there's hope! Read verse 11:

Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.

It's possible to be cleaned of this scourge. Jesus can remove this toxin...and any others as well. I'm proof that he can do it.

I don't know where many of the porn producers stand with the Lord, but there are many others out there in their shoes who need to make that decision. Pray for them. Pray for all the victims of porn....the husbands who swallow a little, then a little more, then eventually the whole thing until they have to get more and more to satisfy; the wives who struggle with the loss of their husbands to an airbrushed impossibility; the women who, faced with hunger or loneliness, are lured into this trap with seemingly no way out; the purveyors of these poisons, who may or may not realize what their product is doing to countless millions; the young man or woman who stumbles onto something during an innocent Google search and now can't get away from it; and many more. Our God is big enough to handle this. Dare we ask Him to?